Sunday, June 12, 2005
Resolution to Start Anew
oh gosh, it's been 3 months since i last blogged... i'm really inconsistent! now, i resolve to blog more consistently... think i said that some time ago but oh well...
the semester has finally ended... results weren't fantastic but at least i think they were okay.. i'm hoping for a second-upper... still hoping since i'm not a dean lister.. haha... that's like my goal every semester to make it to the dean's list but apparently, things always crop up along the way (eg. the lazy bug). so yea, you know... *guilty*
i've a lot of issues to grapple with recently... i seriously think i'm suffering from a failing mind. i can't seem to remember stuff or focus on what i'm doing. then came the HK trip which had lotsa hiccups but thankfully everything's fine now and i'm still going. *phew* all those procrastinations almost cost me a trip!!
i'm starting work for a short term next week. think i'll have to stand on heels for like 8 hours a day.. gosh, i fear for my legs but the money is good so i'm putting my best foot forward! haha... grateful that i've got a friend to work with... that's like a boosting factor...
these days, i've been thinking a lot since i've got lotsa spare time during the hols. i'm quite a taker rather than a giver. one very good example is how i always pray to God for help when i need him. i'd ask for good grades, good health etc and i just take, take, take from Him without giving much back. i can't wake up on time to go for morning service, i often forget to thank Him after being blessed with what i prayed for.
In relationship as well, but this time i think i do give. like how i have to accommodate to certain issues and stuff. it's getting kinda tiring and i'm starting to wonder whether it's all worth it. i know that a person and his background are 2 different entities but sometimes, u just can't separate them both no matter how hard u think they are different. One would undoubtedly affect the other. gosh, it can be such a toil. then i start to think how long do i have to put up with this, how much more can i tolerate and accommodate. i admit that i do take more than i give but it seems like nowadays, i do my fair share of giving as well. i think i have a lot of issues with his background. it's a huge contradiction. i dun agree with things being done over there and yet i emphatize with his position when he tries to be nice to both parties. i can't make too much comments or it'd seem like i'm slamming them.
no one ever said life was easy right... i'm seriously considering this and whether it's worth the effort at all.. it's getting too draining emotionally... urgh!
Kel ♥
12:54 PM
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